Thursday, February 26, 2009
The possibilities are endless.
I try and toughen up.
It's not easy.
In some ways I'm a tenderfoot.
Is it because I'm the 'Little One'?
I am so in love today.
Even though I had three fights, got stood up, and hung up on, I feel so loved.
That's the irony.
See me, feel me, heal me, touch me!
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Monday is always difficult. I will not worry. I just continue to work on my projects and ignore what I can't do anything about. When my mind drifts to that frustration spot, I find another thought to take it's place and smile. Lately, I've been thinking of sex. I was denying myself that aspect of sensuality because I was hurting. Now, I know I will be open to kissing a new pair of lips. I will allow someone else to touch my breasts. I will become naked in front of a new set of eyes and slowly forget your tenderness. I will let go of all my silly expectations that you can never fulfill. I can find happiness in the embrace of someone who truly cares about me. That will be nice. I feel it happening already. Although I cling to your ghost, I know I'm moving on. Thank heaven I can.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Gradually, the light stays longer in Alaska. Everyone instinctively feels it. Fur Ronde is coming and I may even run the mini marathon Downtown in a crazy outfit. When I first visited, I couldn't quite understand why people would run the streets in costume, but now after one and a half winters, I get it. I have a tough time believing it's been since November of 2005 that my fascination with Alaska began. Many things have changed. Although I will continue here with all that I've started, I have accomplished my goals. It's going to be a tough year, but I'm ready because all my years have been tough in one way or another. The economy is tanking, the President is bravely standing up and I love him.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
The days become weeks, and weeks become months, as I find my way in Anchorage. I love it. I also see how harsh the world is. Being in five below temperatures, with snow blowing every which way, isn't easy. I hear why people leave and never want to come back. I see how it's a struggle to make a life in Alaska. I hear the raven croak, and wind whistle messages outside my window. I have had signs. I wait patiently for more. I do not try to prove anything to anyone. I like that. I study, write, work, play and love. That's really all I want to do. Of course, I still do my practice. My yoga is everything to me now. It has led me here and helped me to find a new way with my body, and my jobs. It's a miracle. I'm quietly discovering what makes me tick. I secretly love everyone. I passionately find ways to live large and fully. I desire contentment and trusted friends. I will create.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
I feel like a layer has been shed. I celebrate the progress. "Let go" is my mantra. Every time I go to what ails me, and holds me back, I inhale and say, "Let ". Then I exhale and say, "Go". That's what my teacher told me to do, and I find it helps me when those moments come. I feel blessed and cradled in a supportive environment. Not everyone responds to me with kindness, but many do, and I'm grateful. The days seem peaceful. I can't be sure, but I believe I'm getting better. My heart is mending. My spirit feels whole, centered, and happily within me. It doesn't stay that way. I mean, I still have the day to day crisis, but I seem to react calmly. In the past, I've been known to react defensively. But that is over, and I'm pleased in the moment. Right now, contentment.