I realize that even when the planets are badly aligned in the sky, I have to make the best of this craziness. I believe I will comment on the state of the modern drunkard. My simple thought on this is, “If you can’t handle alcohol, don’t drink”. I’m not saying there aren’t some cute drunks, but only once can sloppy drunk be endearing. The journey of addiction is an empty one. I do have mercy on addicts and their disease, but I vow to never be an addict. I know now. In the New Year I will continue to party with the people and share the gifts that are offered to me like the pipe, the food, the love, the booze, but I will balance and be free of any ties that bind.
Today I burn the flowers of the past. Dried and dead, their color is pale and the vivid blue of spring is dusty with visions and dreams that have come to pass. Standing at the sacred bonfire with friends who all struggle with addiction, depression and life humbles me. I kneel under the stars at the altar of love. That is where the clear answer lies. Living with the question (Have I had enough?) is becoming second nature to me now and I celebrate the clarity of what love brings.
The modern drunkard has something to prove that has no place with the warriors. Keen and quick we have to be. It could happen in a split second. When least expected you will be called upon. What if? You can’t help if you’re drunk. I’ve been scared straight, but it would be preferable to rise to the moment and know that my choice is made in a clear state.
Thinking of the right thing to say or do each moment is quite the challenge. Deciding what I want in my life is always a pending question.
1 comment:
hey wait -- you were drinking portugese dao at the crack of dawn, then the happy hour that never ends...did you write this with a hangover. haha! portland to me is a hazy blur of hangovers, bits of conversations that i cant recall who said...some girl from cuba whose dad was with govt and two guys from cuba showed up just before jfk's assassination...talks about the us military buildup and the rise of hamas and hezbollah...who was i talking with these things about? i can't ever remember which bars. but while i loved the crazy buck nights, and the nights stumbling homes from nw 21st, ah delfinas, marco's, ah i cant even recall all the places i got drunk there, but yep, i got a general hangover about drinking -- the occasional shot in the coffee, once in a while a glass of wine...that's all i need to induce a hangover too....xomelissa
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