My Friend the North Star

Pole Star

Anchorage, Alaska is where I want to be. I stare into the night sky and find true north by Polaris, the wobbling North Star. Named after a Billy Goat and described as steadfast, this shinning, navigational tool will guide me too.

Friend, Friend, Friend

I wanna be your friend
If you won’t be my lover
I really need a friend
More than another lover

Can you be my friend
and never be my lover?
You really are my friend
Who’ll never be my lover

Friend, friend, friend
When will you be my lover?
Friend, friend, friend
I love you more than others

I see you in the sky
I see you in the moon
I see you in the stars
And the Northern Lights that bloom

I travel far and wide
To understand my feelings
Oh darling, me, oh, my
You really have me reeling

Friend, friend, friend
Who couldn’t be my lover
Friend, friend, friend
I love you more than others

I walk on down the line
I know not where it leads me
Devil, Angel, Child
When will this feeling leave me?

Five thousand miles from here
Or tomorrow morning early
I hold you in my heart
I’m not in any hurry

Friend, friend, friend

The Guy who lives in the Alley

The center of our solar system is the sun. The center of Anchorage, Alaska for many folks is Darwin’s Theory. It’s a small, old bar that has colorful history and draws amazing people in. For me, it’s a wealth of stories and characters that make the Alaska experience full. Just last night, I was standing in the alley outside of Darwin's with two friends talking about work and life. Suddenly, there was a shuffling and grumbling sound and out of a tiny space between the walls of two buildings, a man came bounding out. As if he was already in our conversation he questioned, “Yes, but what are you doing about the guy who lives in the alley?” We’re not talking about the alley where we were standing that is wide enough for garbage trucks and large vehicles, we’re talking about a space about a foot and a half wide between two brick walls. He looked like a wild man with one eye glazed over with fear and the other swollen nearly shut from a punch that caused a red and purple mash that hurt to even look at. My friend Mark said, "What about the guy living in the alley?" The wild man seemed like he wanted to express something to us but all he blurted out was, "I didn't ask for that". With genuine concern I asked, "What happened to your eye?" He replied, "My roomate did it." I quickly added , "You have a roomate in there?" We glanced at the dark space between the walls, then back to the wildman. Exasperated he said, "No, before. Can't you help a guy out here?" Mark handed him ten dollars as we started back in to Darwin's Theory. The wild man's mouth fell open as he was computing Mark's kindness. He didn't follow us in to the warm bar, but he ended with, "I didn't ask for this. Hey, don't tell anyone you saw me here".

Love Carries Me

January 14, 2008

I still love him.
The days are beautiful and I struggle with my heart.
It’s a wrestling match that requires the strength of ten men.
Knowing that what I wanted more than anything
was to be with him, I flail in the depth of this new part of our relationship.
It's a layer that I didn't forsee.
I do not know what to do except continue to love.
That is all that's required.

Alaska Explorer 2008

January 10th, 2008


Alaska Explorer

I'm an explorer
I discover the sweet places in your heart that dwells in Alaska
Waking from my restless sleep hearing the songs of our Chugach Romance
I ache for you my beautiful friend
What magic we've created
I love that the universe provides
Oh stars on fire
Oh strong man who touches me right
Oh you, you look at me
with those flat black eyes and I’m lost
I can’t remember anything before you came into my life
Oh love, please don’t let me fail
Oh me of little faith
Oh me so undone, so weak in the knees
I tell everyone who asks how amazing you are
Oh friend, please don’t crush my awakening
What can I do to trust?
Sweet, sweet man
I knew you were in there
deeply hidden in your private, dark place
We made a pact never to be mean to each other
I pray to have strength
I practice my new life in Alaska as an explorer,
an explorer of the heart

Alyeska Mountain Weekend

I want to stay in Anchorage, but instead, I travel to Girdwood and explore a beautiful new place with people I don't really know. I'm forcing myself to take the path that is offered to me gratefully.

At the bottom of Alyeska Mountain is the Sitzmark Bar & Grill where watching people ski is enjoyable. I don't ski, but if I do spend more time in Alaska, I will consider at least getting better at Cross Country.

On First Tap (First Thursday of every month), I went to the Bear Tooth and had a fantastic evening. I saw the Whipsaws. They're truly a great, young band. I cannot remember how long it’s been since I've seen a hometown band getting the royal treatment by the hometown folks. They opened their show with a video of past performances at different Alaska venues such as The Brown Bear and Snow Goose. It was great to see the same fans in the video as on the dance floor. Shyanne Beatty from KNBA was there and it was sweet to see the Diva in action. She introduced me to her boyfriend and we spoke a little about the show 'Earthsongs' which she produces for KNBA. Shyanne is such a huge personality in Anchorage and I'm a huge fan.

After watching the clouds break up on Alyeska mountain and studying the steam and fog rising from the buildings at the resort, I headed back to the cabin to make dinner with some of the other guests. We drank, played, danced and had political discussions about the election. Our first cocktail was at 4:20 PM and the last one at 5:10 AM. It was such a hysterical time and the final thought on the weekend is, life is short and communication is key.