I drove to Eagle River where the Hiland Mountain Correctional Institute is and taught yoga to the inmates. As I cruised north, I listened to the last Presidential debate before the election on the radio, and kept my eyes on the wintry road. It's been snowing a lot. The undercurrent of Anchorage comes out as the temperatures plunge, darkness settles upon us, and snow blankets the dreary city. I've recently spent some time with folks who don't love Alaska. They ask me, "What are you doing here?" I laugh and say, "I was told to come here, by a very strong force in my life. It's called my heart." They answered back laughing louder, "This is hell Robin. This is hell." When you go into a prison like I did tonight, you feel fortunate not to be incarcerated, but you also have a haunted feeling. There's a distinct loneliness when you see families visiting each other. Children spending time with their mothers in jail is heart wrenching. It's like getting a belly kick and you can't catch your breath. Before I left for the prison, I watched some of the debate at home with the 18 year old foster child who lives at the house where I stay. His name is Antonio. He wants to be a marine and is a McCain supporter. We got in to a political discussion that led to an argument. I was taking the world peace approach and he was staunchly giving all the reasons why there could never be world peace. I said, "There should be no guns. People have guns because they're afraid." He said, "McCain will lead us through the troubled times ahead better than Obama." I was frustrated listening to him talk over the debate and in a hot flash of anger I said, "Yea, well if Obama wins, they'll probably assassinate him". Antonio asked, "Why, because he's black?" and I said, "No, because he's President." Antonio said, "The CIA won't let anyone get to the President". I said, "Are you crazy? Nobodies safe in this world." He insisted that the CIA was protection enough. I said, "Antonio, Presidents have been murdered before." He replied, "That was a long time ago." I couldn't believe he thinks it's ancient history. I can't believe he actually feels the CIA can protect anyone. I said, "Antonio, anyone can be bought. Kennedy may have been killed by the CIA. It could have been an inside job. You can't stop people who're willing to martyr themselves." I cursed at him and said he was stupid. I immediately felt awful, but I was angry and I wanted to teach him something that would change his mind. Then, in the car, on the way to the prison as I listened to Mc Cain and Obama debate health care, education, Roe vs. Wade, and closing remarks, I felt sick about the future. It wasn't a relaxing start to teaching yoga at the prison. It set the tone and I was disjointed. But the women were sweet to me and appreciate anyone coming, giving their time, and sharing knowledge with them. I taught a basic yoga class and threw in a few things I hoped they'd never seen before. People who love yoga enjoy learning new poses and ways of refreshing familiar ones. It was a small class and they tried to make me feel comfortable. I made them laugh out loud a few times, because I'm an outrageous GrandMa who teaches yoga. I told them I would be back next week. They asked if I would start another class. I said I would think about it. I walked out of the prison and cold air hit my face. Tears welled up in my eyes as I got to my car and turned on the engine and heater. I put 'Substitute For Love' on the cd player, slowly drove the snow covered road back to Glen Highway, and headed South to Anchorage. I looked at the fog, snow, and cold, damp air hanging in the Alaska night. I know I'll be shown the way. Things will become clearer to me soon. I understand why people don't like it here, but I've only just begun.
I'm using an image of my favorite totem from Alert Bay. I'm posting it in honor of the women in prison and all the people I love.
